Thursday, March 1, 2012

I used to not want for a lot of things. As I mentioned my husband wants everything and wants it now. I have always been pretty content with what I have and anything new is just an added bonus. But recently I have started spending more time with a friend who seems to have a constantly growing list of things she wants, needs achievements, her Bucket List she calls it. I guess I thought a bucket list was something that comes at a mid-point in our lives when we look to see what we’ve done and what we still want to do with the time left. I think I recoiled from such a list at this point in my life because well, fuck I’m only 33 years old. The end is not near so why start a list of things that need to be accomplished before the big sleep?

The other problem that I have is that when faced with a list of "To-Dos" I do. I get shit done. There is nothing more satisfying that crossing things off my list. And many bucket-worthy things require money and we all know that I don't have that just laying around these days. So again, why make a list when you can't complete it in a reasonable time.  Perhaps lists are only short term for me.  A list left incomplete is a visual of how I have failed somewhere.  Don't need more of those reminders hanging around.

So I recently learned about Rock Boat and its as if I don’t know what my life was like before knowing about it. Every element calls my name. I clicked around the web site and researched past Rock Boats, I realized that this is something that I want, no need to do. I feel as if my soul needs to feed on a boat of drunken music lovers and my mental stability will be forever in question until I go. Ah, shit, I have a Bucket List.

With my ample Internet time, I have been exploring more blogs (I should mention that I love when bloggers recommend other bloggers). And the pictures on them are a-mazin’. So often I feel that my words fall short when trying to tell a story and a picture would do so much better. But my little point and click is S.L.O.W. and even though there is the anti-shake on the camera (the actual technical term escapes me) the pictures are always blurry. Again, with my ample time I started researching cameras and what is the real price opposed to some astronomical number in my head. And I start to think this is a possibility if…. Well, mainly if I have a stable job, but some other “ifs” along with that. And now suddenly I have a want of something that I can’t just run to Target for.

Why I even bring this up is because I wonder if this is because I have time on my hands and no money? Have I started looking at the Joneses and to see what they have and see what might spark something green inside of me? Or am I expanding my horizons and experiencing new things. Thus, seeing the possibilities that lie within our daily existence?  Its hard to tell, but I’m pretty sure that if I had a camera I could take a picture and figure it out!

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