Friday, March 30, 2012

Technology sucks unless its free

I hate texting.  Perhaps if I had grown up with it like all you whipper snappers it would different.  But I like the English language.  I like sentences in their entirety and correct spelling and not blaming auto-correct.  I like the act of telling a story with real words and punctuation and spaces.  If you know how all those things work, it can be kind of fun (is that geeky?).  I hate itty-bitty little buttons that don’t always work as fast as I do.  I hate that I typed “iced” and it came out as “ocean” and I sent it anyways cuz I thought I had typed the right thing.

Apparently my big old monkey fingers couldn’t do it right.
Anyways… I am trying to embrace as much technology as it will only help me find a job and its kinda fun to be out there looking at stuff and finding new things.  I know that I need to get in line with iTunes or something like that.  I mean I have an iPod or a Nano or something like that.  But I have never purchased  music for it.  And I don’t know if I will.  I really like CDs.  I buy them so infrequently, but I like being able to say, in some monetarily way, “hey you with the ghee-tar and singing voice I like all that noise you be making over there so much in fact I will go out of my way and purchase your CD.”  I love the art that goes along with the CD and the whole packaging of it…that’s probably the marketer in me.  Also, I’m really cheap.

Mornin'

This is the first Friday in like 4 weeks that I haven’t had an interview.  I’m not sure what to make of that other than there haven’t been as many rejections as other weeks….

So I was excited about being able to sit and quietly drink my Starbucks treat and listen to some music as loud as I want (got the hunger Games CD at Starbucks because yes I am 14 years old).  I was gonna write all day long.  Instead I’ve played on Facebook and Pinterest and figured out stuff on this new image program I was recommended, GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program).  It’s like Photoshop but free …yay!

So now I decided to write….wait for it.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

I KNOW THAT GUY!

So playing around the Internet (read YouTube) I found this and I am so excited!


Why would I be so excited?  See that drummer back there?  I know him!  He was my neighbor back when we were wee and innocent and our only concern was if his mom was gonna get mad at us for squashing mulberries with our feet and making a mess.  He was my second favorite person to play with as a child.  First goes to my middle sister.  We played  He-Man but never She-Ra cuz she wasn't the right size (what was up with that Mattel?).  We played Hot Wheels on the rug/blanket thing his aunt made him that was a little city and the Hot Wheels Car Wash. We went camping in his back yard and "fished" in the street that separated our houses.  We played Barbies at my house and he cried every time he had to go home.  I am so excited and proud that all these years later he is still playing.  


PS...I think the possibly drunk blond "dancing" around the second video is his wife.







Monday, March 26, 2012

Fishing Stories

Juanito came into the house yesterday afternoon and dropped a bunch of quarters into my hand.  A dollar to be exact.  “Here, I fished these out of your tape player.”  The Boy has been caught on a occasion quickly shoveling coins into the tape player of my car.  I feel like my car sounds old that she has a tape player but she isn’t.  And in her defense I only listen to the Best of the Mamas and the Papas in there.  Nonetheless, my husband took ginormo tweezers and pulled out what he could. 

TWO FISH…
I went outside yesterday evening to find Juanito and The Boy practice fishing into the cul-de-sac (sans fish hooks of course).  It was one of the most endearing sights and made me wish, yet again, that I had a good camera that would capture the purity of this sight.  I watched as they practiced their casts and then The Boy was a “fish” that Juanito “caught.”  I went back in and to continue cleaning and preparing dinner.  Pretty soon I hear crying and then “Get a towel!”  My first thought was busted tooth which is my complete fear that he will break off a tooth.  I shiver at the simple thought.  Anyways Juanito comes in with The Boy who is bleeding profusely from the back of his head.  Apparently The Boy’s casting got a little wild and the very minor weight on the line hit him in the back of his head.  We stopped the bleeding and I kept trying to see the damage, which didn’t appear to be too bad.  I got out the first aid kit which is a small suit case size.  The Boy was completely enthralled by the contents, the packages, the compartments and the fact that he had never seen this before.  This was better than any bandage ever!  I told Juanito to hold him so that I could clean it and I was telling The Boy what we were doing so he would not be scared.  I told him that we would first clean the area with an alcohol swab, then spray the area with a hydrogen peroxide spray and then put an antibiotic ointment on to that his hair would not matte into the wound.  Juanito was skeptical of all three steps and I’m not sure if he was worried about The Boy not handling it well or the guilt that he would have since this was his little game that kinda caused the wound.  I gave him a look that made him give into my way (It’s a god look to master as a wife).  The Boy handled all three steps perfectly find, better than Mom and Dad. 

THREE FISH…..
It has been over 90 days since I lost my job.  While I am working part time as a contractor and this is allowing our bills to be paid and all, I have not received an offer for full time work.  I can be lulled into complacency because I have a place to go and I am getting caught up on my bills but it’s a false net below the high wire of life. I continue to fish for a job.  I baited my hook yet again this fine Monday morning and threw my line into the pool of employment praying to the saints of fisherman for a decent offer, nay an offer.  

Friday, March 23, 2012

Confession

I feed our basset hound before I feed our chocolate lab because I like him more. She's just obnoxious and loud.  And she spins.  Until she's fed.  He just calmly waits for his food.  He also doesn't chase his bowl around the house in an attempt to lick it dry.  I had to hunt for five minutes to find her bowl.  It was wedged under the entertainment center. 

He might be an asshole, but so am I.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Things I love...today

So today sucks,  nay this week sucks.  I started this post and was finishing it up when I fucking fat fingered something *POOF

GONE

So here we go, take 2...only shortened and condensed.

Stuff sucks and I can't find the words to express that articulately.  Well, at least not one that requires a lot of F bombs, gesticulating and all the other things that I am starting to see my son do.  To me.  Karma's a bitch and will get you in your own progeny.

So anyways here are some things to make me happy....

I love Dave Matthews Band, whole heartedly.  Do you see this man's fingers??!  They are the music of my soul.  Adding Tim Reynolds is like chocolate sauce.  On my soul.

Also, this little ditty has shown up on VH1 lately but that makes me feel old.  So instead I "discovered" this that makes me wanna do little dances.  Like I'm 8 and I think I'm in the ballet.  Also, can't tell if this guy sounds like Peter Gabrielle or Sting. 

oh and I'm so listening to this while I finish up this post.  Pray that it works cuz take three can sound like this.



Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Still Unemployed After All These Years

So the contract job will come to an end soon, like the of March.  So I'm am frantic, again, for a job interview to give way to an offer.  I hope that I don't completely reek of desperation, or atleast it smells like cucumber melon lotion. 


I've been asked if I have prospects and I am getting confused on how to answer this.


Do you mean do I have interviews?  Yes, lots.  I have them in person and on the phone. I have them with HR hiring managers and department directors.  I am a Cat in the Hat of the interviewing process.  That does not mean that I have a job or a job coming down the line.  I think thats the part that gets me.  Unless you're in the thick of unemployment right now, people don't seem to understand. 

EXAMPLE GIVEN:
I was telling my Dad about how I interviewed at a local HVAC company with an asshat of a man who didn't feel it necessary to tell me his name or his title or anything like that but did tell me about 7 times that he has a marketing budget of, wait for it, a MILLLION DOLLARS! (pause fo gasp)

I know! I know.  I was completely shocked that an HVAC company would have soooo much money dedicated to advertising in the Valley of the freakin' Sun?  Holy Cow! 

So what does my retired sheet metal father ask me?  Did you tell him you knew me? 
Ummmm...

Monday, March 19, 2012

Lost Bird

So I finally took the plunge and joined Twitter. I figured since I’m courting the social media marketing schtick I might as well learn how it all works. I casually mentioned this the other night to Juanito and his encouraging response was “Oh geez” and if he wasn’t staring at his phone and playing some zombie game or “breeding” his fish in Tap Fish I’m sure he would have rolled his eyes at me.

I do bring feel that this is a personal milestone as well as a blogging milestone. First I never gave into myspace. I thought it was creepy and sad. At least I felt creepy and sad when I voyeuristically hunted on former classmates. I remember the first time my friend showed me how it worked and we spent the better half of a Friday night in the study going

Oh my gawd!
Hol-lee shit!
What the fuck!
Who is that? Somebody married her?
Did we go to school with that person?
Good lord he looks old. Are we that old?

So when I took the Facebook plunge I did it for two main reasons.
1. My sister moved out of the state and it was easiest way to stay in touch
2. Juanito’s sister moved out of the state and it was the easiest way to stay in touch.

But now I’m like full on addicted to FB. We’re so intimately connected I don’t use its full name. FB and I are so close that we spend time together in the bathroom. Juanito is still off limits in there (we just ignore what he might hear when the fart fan isn’t on). I vowed that I would never follow the trends of what the kids are doing these days. Even though in my heart of hearts and understanding trends as I do, I knew that Facebook would die and something else would re-emerge as “what all the cool kids are doing.”

Once I realized that I needed to learn Twitter in order to sell myself better in jobs I knew it was a matter of time. Also, I read The Everywhereist and she said to do it for Pete’s sake and I feel bad for that guy. Sadly though, I don’t even know how to make my Twitter work. This here bird is busted. So I just started adding people. To be Twitter Trite I almost became friends (do you even call it that in Twitter Land?) with Lady Gaga but instead opted for the professional Mashable. And good Lord that Pete Cashmore tweets all the god damn time. And there isn’t enough time in the day to read all his stuff.

So I want to share this here and here there, but I have no idea how to do any of this. Please bear with me. Also, please feel free to follow (@likethewrap33).…anywhere. Please wish me luck while I follow the trendy herds (or is it a gaggle since we’re birds on Twitter??) in the name of business!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I'm an asshole

So last night someone posted on their Facebook wall some rant about the Kony 2012 video.  If their posts previous to this rant are factual, he was drunk by himself and cleaning cat puke off his couches so perhaps alcohol and boredom blinded him from reason and judgment.  To give you a little background about this person he is in the military and is somehow connected to my family, but not legally or blood line thank God.  His rant said that the Kony video was just “shit that’s been going on forever” and if you aren’t willing to enlist in the armed forces than “you’re a fucking pussy.”  He also added, “If you posted those videos, but havn’t (sic) tried to do anything about it other then (sic) that, then your (sic) a follower, and your (sic) a weak willed waste of air!”  Here are his ramblings: note I blocked out him and the douchebag friend who responded/egged him on to protect…well, me.

So I was so completely enraged by this post and wanted so badly to say something but felt trapped due to the family connection.  Also, I’m afraid to admit this, I was embarrassed that I didn’t want to have to defend my beliefs against someone who portrays them self better than me just because he is enlisted.  As if I am a lesser person because I didn’t join.  I hate that any opposition to military is therefore an opening to be attacked by people who think that I don’t support the military or that I don’t respect their sacrifice. 

And I could throw back at them that my brother in law is in the Army and my sister in law and nephews live the military life.  I support them as much as I can.  This is a decision they made together on how they were going to raise their family.  I support their decision, I pray for his safety when he is deployed.  I have sent care packages and hung a yellow ribbon.  I pray for my sister in law when he is deployed because she is a one man band isolated from supportive family left to raise three small boys and take care of the house.  Even before they were part of my life, I couldn’t help but cry at anything that had to do with the armed forces.  I will never be able to fathom that someone’s “job” is to make my life safe from things that I have the luxury of not even knowing exist.  I know that nothing I say or do would ever ease the pain of the family of those that have fallen.  But I will respect the people who wear the uniform as I feel they are our countries best ambassadors to the world. 

But how dare you sit on your cat puke covered couch and drunkenly post on Facebook that I am somehow less because I have not picked up a rifle to defend my country.  How dare you pass judgment (in incorrect English) on others who are attempting to educate the world that atrocities do exist?  The Kony 2012 video, I feel, is an advocacy for why we need the military.  And the military is there you stupid shit.  You might need to get off of thechive.com and check out cnn.com. 

Perhaps we should instead make a video about your life and how it was meaningless because you don’t have the wherewithal to stay in school, get a job and support yourself but instead joined the military where a job was assigned to you like a child’s chore list.  And had it not been for the uniform they gave you and the rifle they taught you how to use than your life would have been a quagmire of pot, alcohol and unemployment  (unless your brother found you a job) and fighting with your baby’s mama, oh wait you guys got married for the military benefits.  Are you still better than me?  I have an education and pay taxes that fund your job.  I take an active role in educating myself about world events and politics because they impact my life, my family, and my (possible) job.  You clicked on a YouTube link someone put on Facebook and decided that you don’t agree.  

Now I am not a type of person to poopoo your opinion just because its different than mine.  In fact I really want to embrace it so that I can understand where you are coming from.  I am not right by all means and want to see what I’m missing.  But when you criticize those who did not join the military and childishly call them “pussy” you have crossed a line.  A line that Juanito says that I shouldn’t waste time with. 

But here I am wasting time.  Still a little pissed off and seething.  I am also sadly hiding from some drunk on Facebook who was also calling a 9 year old boy on xbox a fag.  Now who’s the asshole?

Friday, March 9, 2012

Trying to be Normal

So my husband has been very encouraging in regards to my writing and blogging.  He has always been very encouraging of pretty much anything I do.  You get a gold star Juanito.  I know that as one of the only two people other than me who reads this little slice of the web, he was interested to see my recap of our fertility struggles.  I’ve marinated on it for a while.  What would I say?  What would be my tone?  How do I recapture the true feelings we had at each turn and bump or lack of movement forward?  Like most things I write about its either right there in my head and just don’t have someone to say the words to so I write about it.  Or it’s a thought or concept I’ve been thinking about and find the message or the angle I want to take.  So I thought with time I would know how to tackle that story.

So back in June 2011 I went to the OB/GYN for my annual and asked that I stop the birth control so that I could start charting.  This was not in an effort to get pregnant.  We still have condoms and like Juanito says, we haven’t pulled the goalie yet.  But I have read that after having children a woman’s hormone balance is all crazy. Since mine was all over the place before Levi I had to see what level of crazy are we dealing with here.  I debated this strategy with the nurse practitioner.  She also has PCOS and said to me “I’m ten years down the road, listen to me.”  And I have, kinda.  So when she conceded that I would go off birth control she did ask that I get tested for diabetes.  You see PCOS is a form of insulin resist and while it’s not guaranteed, there is a connection for women with PCOS to develop Type 2 Diabetes.  My mom had Type 2 and now has kidney disease and is in renal failure.  While we’re talking about paths, I feel like I’m her 25 years up the road.  The idea of having diabetes, or even being pre-diabetic was scary as hell.  So avoidance is best when face with what seems like the inevitable.

But I finally faced facts eight months later and decided that now is the time, do it or forever be sorry.  So I fasted and went in for the two hours of blood sugar testing as well as thyroid panels and cholesterol and triglycerides. The blood order was like a sushi order list with a bunch of rolls checked off.” I love me some spicey salmon roll!? And the sugar water I drank this time was the exact same as I did when I was pregnant but damn, it was NAS-TEE.  I thought I would puke a few times.  The lab tech told me not to or I would have to redo all of this.  Oh ok.

So I recently got the test results back.  While all of my other numbers are perfectly fine, my sugar is elevated.  I was for sure that meant I needed to go to my regular doctor who I see like once every two years.  But then the nurse what like we need to call in this prescription for you.  So I’ll cut out the whole confusing dialogue between me and the nurse in the reception area at the office and let you know that while my sugars are elevated they are normal range for someone who has PCOS.  Therefore they are putting me on Metformin (which I did before) to try and regulate my system.  YAY!  Such a relief!  Honestly, the call came on a day that I was getting rejection after rejection and really couldn’t handle any more bad news.  I wanted to cry and then eat a carrot to thank my body for not being Type 2.

So with time I did realize how I was going to tell the story of our infertility.  I won’t be able to capture all those thoughts and feelings.  I know that they are now blissfully hazy since we were ultimately blessed with our favorite mess.  So I can share with you the next journey. But, please note, that this does not mean that we’ve started the process to get pregnant.  We are not the lucky couple who gets drunk one weekend and ends up pregnant.  We are not the couple that says, “I think we’ll have a baby” and boom we’re are pregnant.  I am not the person who says “I haven’t had my period this month, I should take a test.”  That doesn’t happen here.  While we understand that, it’s hard when other assume you are.  So I will document the journey of trying to be normal like every other girl pass the average age of 14 who menstruates.  Along the way I will remember aspects from Levi’s journey.  Like the time they told us that Juanito’s sperm was all jacked up.  Or the first round of Clomid and how I thought murder made sense and other threw shit at people and I warned him.  I warned you Juanito!  But this time, it will be a different journey.  Hopefully a quicker one, but not as hard since we have Levi.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

My box...not that one.

I have a box in my closet that I filled when I left my last job.  You know where I worked in Hell and Satan had a desk two doors down?  It is filled with all of the little knick knacks and tchotchkes that inhabited my desk.  The “tulips” that Levi made for me at daycare out of his hand print for Mother’s Day; a few framed photos of Levi, our wedding and The Husband when he was like 18 and still had hair; my desk lotions, my desk bottle of mixed drugs like Tylenol, vitamin C, and Sudafed; my pen that is shaped like a giraffe; my assortment of funny stickies; and like 15 different CDs of what I thought were work appropriate including the best of Elton John, Dixie Chicks and Soul Asylum of course. I stood in my closet the other day staring at the box and what remains of its contents since Levi likes to redistribute things occasionally.   What will my next desk look like?  Will it ever need two pairs of fuzzy slippers and appreciate a business card for Meower Meowerson the traveling cat statue? 

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Chips are Socially Unacceptable to Eat in the Office

I am, as l type, listening to the guy on the other side of my little half cubical wall go through (and I’m pretty sure that is literally) a bag of chips.  And by God they are the best chips he’s ever had.  Or he hasn’t eaten in a coon’s age (which is not really a measurement of time).  Either way, he is going to town on that bag and apparently it ain't no snack bag either.  And the noise that its creating makes cause for its own sound contour study.  I mean good Lord man, breath.  Oh, wait he just took a break…to blow his nose.  Clean off his face.  Oh dear God he just cleared the phlegm out of his throat.  If he hawks a loogie I’m walking.....

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Updated Lord help me...

Ok, I blog, obviously.  I read blogs.  I enjoy blogs.  I enjoy connecting with others, even if its just in my mind or theirs.  I blog about my family and my child and my dogs and things that I do.  I blog about my thoughts, my feelings, and poop. 

But Lord strike me down if I ever refer to my child (some day children) or other people's children as "kiddos."  I understand that for some its an unnecessary product of their professions, teachers, medical people.  But if I have to read another godforsaken blog that is written by some SAHM (don't even get me started on acronyms) who is supported by her hubby (or my recent favorite hubs) and this little successful blog of her funds their trips to Disney World for said hubby, her and her kiddos?  Well, I might just implode. 

And if you hear me say or if you read that I have written, rest assured, it was done with a slight twitch in my eye, a curl of my lip and general displeasure through gritted teeth. 

So came across this and its fantastic!  I am guilty of many of these things!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Another one? Geez.

As you may have noticed, the frequency of my postings has increased. This is a direct correlation to the boredom of my current assignment and accessibility to the Internet. Although I have taken blogging to be my only task at hand while here, I find now that I struggle with things to write about. I used to wait for something to come to fruition in my mind and the words to fumble together and out on to the key board. But now that I have time I find that this self-proclaimed Wordy Bitch is suddenly at a lost for words. 

Well, that’s not completely true. I have words and even sentences, but do they make sense to someone who isn’t in my mind and seeing the pictures that go along with the story and most the time take the place of the story. No. And quite frankly I am way funnier in my head than on paper, or in real life for that matter.

So yes for your viewing and reading pleasure here is another post.  Brace yourself because I'm writing some more.

Its Not a Sprint, Its a Marathon

This Sunday we woke up with our regular routine of Disney channel and French toast. I thought, hey, why not start potty training today? So by the seat of our pants we tried it. I know that naturally you want to know some quick assessment of how the potty training turned out. I would love to say that after a day of potty training we’ve ditched the diapers but that would be a lie. A bold-faced lie. Honestly, I have no idea how to determine if this went well or not. We started with introducing the Cushie Tushie he got for his birthday as well as the potty books (mind you others might be pissed to get such practical gifts for their birthday but that’s how I was raised). We had him sit on his potty and talked about going potty and peeing and pooping. Then we set a timer, or actually figured out how the timer worked and then set it, and let him run around in just his pajamas, sans diaper. He held on to his junk for a brief time because fabric on your junk has gotta feel beyond odd after wearing a diaper for your entire life. After fifteen minutes we sat on the potty again. Nothing. Figured out how the time worked a little faster this time and set it again. We kept with this all day. He ended up going potty while playing in his toys and all I can say is I’m glad we have tile. He went through four pairs of pants before we gave up on free-ballin’ and decided to bust out the pull-ups. After lunch he went down for a nap in a diaper. When he woke up we changed his diaper and went right back to the 15 minute intervals with the pull-ups.

At one point, while I watched my husband try and coax our son to pee, I had a thought and shared it with the love of my life. I have been sexually active for about 14 years. I have never paid this much attention to a penis as I have this day. Watching it peak it’s one eye out over the rim of the Cushie Tushie, I willed it to pee. I must apologize to Juanito for not eyeballing his junk with such fierceness and hope in my heart.


I began to worry that we had created all this attention to the potty that he might get some level of anxiety about it and ultimately would stop pooping. This kid is pretty regular, at least twice a day and worst case scenario once a day. So when it was 4 pm and no poop, well I was concerned that I had ruined him forever. I started thinking about Freud’s theories about the oral and anal stage and how he does suck his thumb (my son not Freud but I bet he did too) have we jacked something up by forcing the potty training too soon? Too late? Too forceful? Is he gonna cut the heads off of bunnies when he is 14 because Mom and Dad made him sit on the potty against his will and talk about bulldozers and dump trucks in hope of pooping and/or peeing in the potty?? And if the mental frenzy wasn’t enough, every time I mention potty to him, I had to pee. We didn’t need to download the Potty Dance video from Pull-Ups cuz I was doing my own little version for him.

While working in the backyard, I hear my husband ask our son, “Do you need to go poop?” and then a rush of activity into the house heading straight to the bathroom. I didn’t want to over react and run after them because I was still struggling with my Freudian issues, so I hung back. But then my husband calls from the bathroom, “Uh, can we get some wipes in here?” I asked if he pooped and his answer of “kinda” made sense when I walked in to find my son on the potty, my husband holding him there and little plops of poop that have fallen out of his bum and pull-up onto the floor in front of the toilet. It was also smeared down my son’s leg. I want to take a moment here and let you all know that our dogs are doggie door trained and I haven’t had to deal with poop in the house and on the floor in a long time. So my initial reaction was delayed because honestly I didn’t know what to do, other than laugh. Juanito told me to grab toilet paper which snapped me back to what I was supposed to do. And I would again be lying if the warmth and weight of the bundle didn’t make me gag but I did get the poop in the potty and wiped our son down.

That was the closest to success we had on our maiden voyage of potty training. I read many articles last night about what to do. Apparently all of the advice….potty every 15 minutes, no diaper, no pull-up, the books, watch mom and dad, the cheerios in the toilet, the step stool, the pull pants up and down, well…these are things to work towards and not to be accomplished all in one Sunday. I took him to day care in a diaper because I’m not sure what the morning after is supposed to be like. But she will work with him too and I’ll keep reading. Everyone eventually learns to go in the potty so I guess I should find comfort in that right?

And while I’m not gonna say that he didn’t put his head in the toilet and sing a little song at the top of his lungs, I will say that he has no fear of the potty and has learned a lot.


1. He knows what the timer is for, well, kinda.

2. How to pull his pants up and down

3. Flushing the toilet while sitting on the potty is fun

4. Once you flush the magic is gone.

5. Toilet paper is to wipe your tush. We’ll work on not putting it in the trash once we poop in the potty.
 If I were to give advice to anyone starting this journey….it’s a journey, not to be accomplished in one day. Those people who say that their kids were potty trained in one weekend are lying bitches.


Thursday, March 1, 2012

I used to not want for a lot of things. As I mentioned my husband wants everything and wants it now. I have always been pretty content with what I have and anything new is just an added bonus. But recently I have started spending more time with a friend who seems to have a constantly growing list of things she wants, needs achievements, her Bucket List she calls it. I guess I thought a bucket list was something that comes at a mid-point in our lives when we look to see what we’ve done and what we still want to do with the time left. I think I recoiled from such a list at this point in my life because well, fuck I’m only 33 years old. The end is not near so why start a list of things that need to be accomplished before the big sleep?


The other problem that I have is that when faced with a list of "To-Dos" I do. I get shit done. There is nothing more satisfying that crossing things off my list. And many bucket-worthy things require money and we all know that I don't have that just laying around these days. So again, why make a list when you can't complete it in a reasonable time.  Perhaps lists are only short term for me.  A list left incomplete is a visual of how I have failed somewhere.  Don't need more of those reminders hanging around.


So I recently learned about Rock Boat and its as if I don’t know what my life was like before knowing about it. Every element calls my name. I clicked around the web site and researched past Rock Boats, I realized that this is something that I want, no need to do. I feel as if my soul needs to feed on a boat of drunken music lovers and my mental stability will be forever in question until I go. Ah, shit, I have a Bucket List.


With my ample Internet time, I have been exploring more blogs (I should mention that I love when bloggers recommend other bloggers). And the pictures on them are a-mazin’. So often I feel that my words fall short when trying to tell a story and a picture would do so much better. But my little point and click is S.L.O.W. and even though there is the anti-shake on the camera (the actual technical term escapes me) the pictures are always blurry. Again, with my ample time I started researching cameras and what is the real price opposed to some astronomical number in my head. And I start to think this is a possibility if…. Well, mainly if I have a stable job, but some other “ifs” along with that. And now suddenly I have a want of something that I can’t just run to Target for.


Why I even bring this up is because I wonder if this is because I have time on my hands and no money? Have I started looking at the Joneses and to see what they have and see what might spark something green inside of me? Or am I expanding my horizons and experiencing new things. Thus, seeing the possibilities that lie within our daily existence?  Its hard to tell, but I’m pretty sure that if I had a camera I could take a picture and figure it out!