Friday, April 27, 2012

You like me?! Give it a while....

So I have a real live jobby job. Start date May 7th! Since my contract job ended last week I've got some "quality time" with The Boy. I know that deep down inside I need to treasure this time, but honestly he is TWO so treasuring is not at the top of my list. The other day I argued with him for 5 minutes to brush his teeth. I finally picked him up and put him at the sink and he was like "Oh, teeth! yaaay!!!"

But back to the subject....

This company that I'm going to wanted me. Like fought for me. After the drought and cap it was a little strange. I am hoping that its the right place for me. I'm concerned for a number of reasons. First (and sadly foremost) I made the chick who interviewed me jump, twice. In her defense, she is quite petite (read brittle) like a bird so quick movements of people bigger than her are of serious concern. but all I can think is that while on my best interviewing behavior I made her jump. What happens when I'm spatty on coffee, chocolate and Friday afternoon and wanna run around without my shoes and do stupid dances because "no one is watching"???? I might turn out to be the black sheep of the office. Sadly, a role I'm used to.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

New Blogspot...bleech

I only have a wee bit o'battery left and Blogspot went and got all new...stupid.

So I'm back home with The Boy which is a V.E.R.Y. long story that I will try and share later.  But I've spent a few days with The Boy and that has been enjoyable.  Really.  Honestly. 

I spend the day listening to (and while I"m being honest here, watching) Nick Jr., Disney, PBS, and Sprouts.  I dance like Goofy and sing the Hot Dog song.  I've solved the energy crisis by pat pat pat pat patting that damn rocket all over the place for those Einstein kids.  And when he takes a nap and I get to reclaim my tv I don't watch CNN or HLN or even the stupid local news.  I watch the Kardashians or Couples Therapy on VH1 or What Not to Wear.  I believe that I can't go from this saccharine mind numbing children television to hard core real-life news.  I might cause a stress-fracture in my brain.  So in an effort to prevent any medical bills, brain injuries or ice cream headaches I am well versed on Baby Story and Behind the Music.  You're welcome Juanito.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Go ahead and pleasure yourself

Like I’ve mentioned here, I have been finding new blogs lately.  Expanding horizons if you will.  When I find one where I really like the writing style I tend to languidly browse through the archive to get a sense of who the writer is.  I hope that someone will have the pleasure of that here on this blog.  

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

what emo songs are made of....

Last night I had to run a late night errand, which had me driving around late(r) at night.  The Valley of the Sun has warmed to the point of orange blossoms invading every corner of the valley and the night air is refreshingly cool.  I was solo in my car with all the windows open (sunroof included) driving like I didn’t have a car seat in the back seat (‘cuz I didn’t) with the music blaring.  As I barreled down the freeway there was lightness to the moment, flight was imminent.  And instead of singing at the top of my lungs, which is how I normally roll, I sat back and felt the wind and the orange blossoms and momentum cleanse me, like a power washer.  I want to bottle the levity that I felt in those stolen moments because they have been few and far between these days.  I have never been so thankful for the bank night drop box being out of deposit envelopes forcing me to drive to other locations.  

Dog Parallelism

Tethered to my computer by my headphones and reminded of a chained dog.  Good thing ear buds pop out opposed to pull you back and flip you on your ass. 

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


I have a horrible sense of humor.  I find obscure things funny and make connections to things that no one outside of my head would. And the term “inside joke” was reserved for me and my brain because we’re like the hippest bestie ever.  Eh-va!  Well, except maybe my sister who probably has the same random thought floating through her head, even though she won’t admit it. That’s ok Patty Auchenbachenmeisterduex, we’ll tell everybody later. 

Also I have like no boundaries whatsoever.  I blame my mother.  It’s not like she didn’t breast feed me long enough or because she hit me with the red brush when I was little for squirming too much while trying to do my hair for Picture Day.  No, she was, is, a nurse.  And my sister who is nine years my senior became a nurse.  She started nursing school when I was in junior high school therefore a lot of my adolescent and teen years were peppered with medical terms.  When I was like twelve I used to look things up in the Taber’s Medical Dictionary (the green one) and diagnosed the family dog, Muffie, with diverticulitis.  Well, not the dog, but the patient she was playing in our hospital.  She has a file you know.  Anyways, growing up where your dinner conversation was about digital stimulation for a bowel program of a man who was a quadriplegic is, well, not normal.  Apparently.   But it does desensitize you to things that make other people squirm.  I can talk about bodily fluids and functions pretty well for someone who is not practicing medicine on a daily basis.  I personally don’t enjoy dealing with poop and vomit, but I’ll gag my way through it. Well, scratch that, the dogs’ vomit does me in pretty easily, especially if its after they ate poop.