Chips are Socially Unacceptable to Eat in the Office

I am, as l type, listening to the guy on the other side of my little half cubical wall go through (and I’m pretty sure that is literally) a bag of chips.  And by God they are the best chips he’s ever had.  Or he hasn’t eaten in a coon’s age (which is not really a measurement of time).  Either way, he is going to town on that bag and apparently it ain't no snack bag either.  And the noise that its creating makes cause for its own sound contour study.  I mean good Lord man, breath.  Oh, wait he just took a break…to blow his nose.  Clean off his face.  Oh dear God he just cleared the phlegm out of his throat.  If he hawks a loogie I’m walking.....