Thursday, June 30, 2011

If wishes were dreams

I wouldn't remember my wishes if that were the case. 

I really wish that I could write more.  I know that its all dedication and shit, but I can't seem to find the time that I can sit down and write and not think, I should unload the dishwasher or lord I need to sweep before that dirt bunny under the table starts to pee on the other dirt bunny marking its territory.  Then the dirt bunnies form gangs where they make friends and fall in love and fight each other and some times dance and sing but then it all ends in a blazing fire fight (must be yelled like in Boondock Saints) and then there is blood pee and dirt bunny parts all over the place which is an even bigger mess than I started with. 

I also don't feel like I am capable of writing the things I wanna talk about correctly.  Like honestly I think my head is way faster than my fingers which does help out with decision making and maintaining a job that provides an income we have become comfortable with.  But so doesn't help when I wanna say or think something and my fingers don't keep up and then I miss the thought cuz something shiny happened or a song came on the radio...oh!  New Mumford and Sons on the radio...Love-it!

so anyways....

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

something about trees and forests......?

What is that old saying, can't see the forest for the trees or something?  When you can't see the bigger picture?  I think I have that problem.  I self-diagnosed myself.  Seriously I think I have this problem but in reverse.  Instead of seeing the finer details or the meaning of the finer details I see the big picture.  I am starting to think that because of this I'm misinterpreting the forest. I've been reading Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed and it is phenomenal!  I usually read to go to sleep but this book keeps me awake and I'm reading to all hours of the night.  A pager turner if there ever was one.  Anyways, I know that there is some deep hidden meaning in so many things he writes about but I seem to miss it.  I am loving the story and the characters and how the story is woven together for the reader but am afraid I am missing another layer that would make it that much better.  I also think this affliction, for lack of a better term, is hindering me in my daily life. Does this make sense?  Do you ever feel that there is more beyond your grasps?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Our Oldest Baby

It all started quite innocent. We were merely going to take her as a test drive and she ended up never leaving. Some might say that we stole her but that’s all perspective. I like to think that she came into our life like kismet. Cassidy is her name. Like Cher or Madonna she needs no last name and we didn’t waste time with silly little modifiers that would imply she is of some royal descent. Instead, she has many nick names, such as Cass, Casa Dee Dee, Baby Girl, Dingus or Crazy. She is indeed a little crazy and at times she is just downright retarded. We call her “special” in mixed company and let them determine what they want in that. In reality she is a nine years old chocolate lab but she thinks she is much younger and much smaller. To please the court, I offer up the following pieces of evidence of her retardation:

1. She was in our wedding party and she had to be medicated in order to be around the crowd of people. Our wedding was less than 100 guests.

2. She is no longer allowed to go to my parent’s house for Christmas because the combination of all those kids and adults and Christmas tree and food is too much and she explodes into a whirling, twirling whining mess of fur. Her last Christmas in public, we head out to my parent’s house on Christmas Eve night and by Christmas morning she was locked in the garage for the safety of everyone and for her tongue to return to its normal color.

3. To let you know that it is time to eat, she spins.

We keep her around because she gives the best hugs. EVER. She will do the slow creep up on to your lap or couch. Slowly, one paw at a time and one pound at a time. And then nose dive you into your neck. She is very good with the aim of her snout into your neck. The nose being cold and wet is just an added bonus. The natural reaction is to drive your chin into your neck in a protective manner. This must be a cue for her to do the same thing. So now it’s a vise grip of dog on human action. Personally, I’m laughing too hard by this point to do much of anything other than to curl up and protect my abdominal area since she is not wildly dancing on top of you but still magically holding you down with her snout grip. It is pure joy. She is and always will be our first baby.

Following Orders

So my therapist wants me to start writing more.  It was not his idea to write on the blog but I feel like here I actually have an audience that I can talk to.  I know its you two and all but I'm trying to follow orders.  I'm suppose to write about stuff that we don't get to talk about when I'm there.  I think I'm still working on finding my voice as a writer.  I know that if I follow orders then I'll get to both places. 

So I need to make the commitment to actually write.  Oh, look The Husband is watching Samurai Jack, which I absolutely hate with a a passion.  Looks like a good time to write.