Ok so this story starts a while ago on a bright and sunny Saturday (its always bight and sunny in Phoenix) We were going to some event that has nothing to do with this story. The point being I had gotten out of the shower and was hanging out on the couch in my robe (not getting ready) and chatting with Juanito while The Boy played with his toys. When I stood up my robe fell open a little bit and I saw The Boy's line of vision honed in on my exposed nether regions. Juanito and I exchanged a look and I quickly covered up but not before The Boy could yell out an adamant "YUCK!" Juanito and I busted up laughing. I escape into the bathroom to actually get ready and Juanito explained to The Boy that someday he might like that but he should never like his mom's. (Yes I admit that this might be too much too soon, but we like to be honest at all turns. Even when we're talking Mom's cooter.)
Fast forward to another bright and sunny day in Phoenix (again like Philadelphia its always bright and sunny but with less Danny Devito). Pretty much the same scenario, we're suppose to be going somewhere but this time I'm getting ready for the shower when The Boy insists that he too needs to bathe. So we never want to turn down an opportunity for a clean kid we obliged, stripped him down and popped him into the shower with me. It was going quite well until he started with the tractor beam stare into my lady parts. I matter of factly state that that is Mom's private parts and its time to get out of the shower. But before Juanito could get the towel and get him out of the shower The Boy belts out a resounding "YUCK!"
So earlier this week when The Boy ran into our bedroom and I was fresh out of the shower and drying off I should have know. While he was climbing on the bed I saw him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He is totally aware that Mom does not look like Dad nor him. And its strange. And when the confused look traveled lower and went from confused to disgusted I was already reaching for my clothes. As expected he announced "YUCK!" to the room. I quickly gathered my clothes as he quickly climbed off the bed calling after me "Me see?" No. No you can not inspect Mom's crotch.
It doesn't matter how straight forward you want to be with your kids at one point there will be a line and you might not know its there until you (or he) have crossed it. But what it made me think about is sometimes I find myself saying things that I never fathomed I would say.
"Get Batman out of the dishwasher."
"Leave Mom's tush. Stop. Quick hitting my ass."
"Don't open the car door" (Note I was driving on the freeway at the time.)
What about you? What ridiculous statement have you found yourself saying with such authority and then resisted the urge to make fun of yourself??