Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Indulge me a moment while I wander down this dark path….

I read a recent post from A’Dell about how she found out that she was pregnant with her third child *SURPRISE* She struggled with fertility in conceiving her first two so the SURPRISE is a few font size bigger then represented here. Her post got me thinking….

What if my family is already here? What if we’re not meant to have another child? I know that each person facing fertility needs to decide their own limits of how far they will be go in trying to conceive/get a baby. And you hope that your partner has similar thoughts, or at least agrees. But what I’m talking about is the small things that I don’t know that relished enough with The Boy: the planning for the arrival; the squishiness of newborns; the squeaky little sighs; the emerging personality; the breast feeding (I feel like I fell down on the job with The Boy and really want to try it again and show motherhood I can do it. Com’on coach put me in!). All of these things I feel in every fiber of my being that I HAVE to do one more time. It just has to be.

What we (me and Juanito) have not discussed is what if this very primal need to have a baby does not subside after Number 2? We’ll cross that road when we come to it Juanito. No need to worry now. For now.

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