So I haven't written in a while. Things have been, well, you, happening. And by "in a while" I guess I mean like 5 days ago. Anyways. I know I should jump on the bandwagon and say something about the tragedy at the Boston Marathon. Well, I don't have words for it. I can't understand what makes people do such things. It also doesn't help that we don't know who did it or why they would do such a thing. Was it to see if they could?
See? Again no words.
So the speechless-ness kinda in a round about way, meaning absolutely no connection, connects to what I've been experiencing. Pregnancy brain. I have been forgetting shit left and right. Oh man it pisses me off. I really thought I did a good job of staying on task and being present when pregnant with The Boy and that I never exhibited such signs. Later I was told by one friend that I didn't. But she was the only one who ever said this so I think she was lying. At least that's how I'm going to remember it.
So anyways where was I? Oh yes my pregnancy brain. So sad to be afflicted with this. It doesn't help that Juanito has been pre-Alzheimer's since we moved in together so I'm surprised that we're keeping up. The Boy has made it to soccer practice and to soccer games. Not always on time, but he was there. He didn't participate except for the snack time, but that's a different story. I digress. Again.
So I was thinking the other day while driving from work about all of the things that I possibly have forgotten. And this phrase popped into my head. Uterine Shunting. When AJ was pregnant with Cee, my mom made fun of her for forgetting stuff and being generally loopy. AJ laughed but claimed in her defense it was uterine shunting that made her forget stuff. She explained in her highly effective nurse voice that it happened when all the blood was being pulled to the uterus and made you forget things. Even now it sounds ridiculous. I know. At the time, my mom rolled her eyes in that oh so supportive manner she has, and laughed it off. For the remainder of her pregnancy and possibly even after he was born, if any one forgot something, my mom would roll her eyes, laugh and ask if you had uterine shunting.
At the time it was funny, but now that I'm afflicted with this ailment I don't see the humor in it at all. Its frustrating. Its silly. I wish I could laugh it off like AJ did, but I can't. I'm in list making overdrive and checking and double checking. I forget dates and plans we have even though we have talked about the plans multiple times. I forget locations which is why I missed my exit on the 51 and had to take crappy Bell Road. I walk into rooms and forget what I'm doing there. Sadly this has only increased in frequency.
This is not the only difference between my pregnancy with The Boy and with Lucky #2. I have been nauseous. I have vomited once and now I don't think I can ever eat Jimmy John's again. This is sad. I have to eat small meals, frequently so that I don't throw up. I have to eat to not throw up and I can only eat a little bit because too much makes me throw up. Majority of my pants no longer button. Well, except my skinny jeans. Because of course the one item of clothing to put fear in the hearts of every large girl, skinny jeans, should totally fit a pregnant large girl. That makes sense. I can't pick up the laundry baskets, I can't pick up The Boy. I am tired and feel limited already. What. The. Fuck. Its too early in this game to have so many complaints. I understand, but have you ever gone from being regular with the sun to not? And when I say regular I mean poop. Before Lucky #2 I pooped every day when I got home from work. I always have. Ask Schmaren and Juanito. They know this. But since Lucky #2 I poop maybe every other day, if I'm lucky. And when I do poop, well its not easy, its not enjoyable and its not blood-free. This might be too much information. In fact I know it is. But its the truth. Its what happening. And for the part of me that wants to document this pregnancy here in the place, well there you go. Schmacey advised that photos aren't necessary.
The only thing I can think of that would be the silver lining on this first trimester is maybe my uterine shunting will allow me to forget this part.
No comments:
Post a Comment