Thursday, March 21, 2013

End of a hiatus puncuated by poop

So where have I been?  Well, you know that thing that we all struggle to get through?  Life?  Well it reared its ugly head and demanded attention.  But now I’m backed and armed with great stories! 

We have made great leaps and bounds forward in the potty training world.  I’m not saying that it’s a go 100% because we still have accidents and pooping isn’t happening in the toilet just yet and night time pull ups are still required.  But The Boy has graduated from needing the step stool and cushy seat to just standing at the toilet to pee.  He takes his pants down all of the way to his ankles and then squeezes his junk like it’s a little lemon or something.  About 30% of the time he squeezes it so that it aims out of the toilet and I’m afraid he might find that funny and start doing it on purpose….  On second thought, I should probably just accept that he will most likely spray pee all over the place in the next few years (decades?). 
And I’m not sure if this is because I’m a girl and I was raised in a house of girls, but I just internally giggle my butt off when he pees standing up.  His little butt that looks like his dad’s butt thrusts up to the toilet.  And as he is finishing peeing and the arch tapers off, he pees on the edge of the toilet.  He then wipes the edge of the toilet off.  In time he will be taller and won’t dribble on the ring.  Eventually.  But for now there are high-fives all around when he is successful.
For now he has only mastered peeing in the potty.  Pooping, well he is still no-holds-bar with that one. Whenever and where ever is his apparent motto. Sometimes you know if he pooped because his walking like he quite literally has a load in his pants.  Because he does.  Or like his a weathered cowboy just finishing a driving cattle from Montana to Texas.  Regardless of how cute this image is, no one ever prepared me to wash poop out of Jake and the Neverland Pirate underwear.  No child development book I had said prepare yourself for poopy underwear from daycare that have rolled into a shitty little ball, stuffed into a plastic glove and then sent home like some precious little gift.  Where was that chapter Girlfriend’s Guide to Toddlers?  No where.  And we quickly made the rule between Juanito and me, if you bring it home you wash it.  That works out well for me since Juanito predominately picks up.  also, if you change his butt you wash the mess.  But I hang on to the hope that this too shall pass, comfort myself that he will eventually learn to poop in the potty and thank God for Fabreeze. 

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