I am honestly very happy for all of the new moms or moms-to-be. I am not jealous of them because, well I already have the cutest baby in the world (who is now 15 months old - OMG! Can I even call him a baby??). Its not that I want to be in their shoes right now. Eventually yes I want to travel down this path again but not yet. Because like I mentioned, The Boy is 15 months old and he can walk AND climb and he loves jumping on his bed which would explain why the mattress cover is split and the DVD buttons only become interesting when watching a DVD and Dad's cell phone totally belongs in the toliet. So there is currently no opening in the baby division in our house. I absolutely love talking about my pregnancy versus theirs or someone else's. I love comparing thoughts and feelings and dreams at each stage. I love giving the advice from someone who has been through it and is on the other side. I love because I wish I had had it.
Honestly what really gets me is that I didn't have this. I wasn't allowed to discuss it at work (for reason that take too much time). My sisters don't really call me up for girl chat. Only one of my friends had had children. My other friends either bailed or the conversation didn't last long because they didn't know what to say and I didn't want to push and make it uncomfortable. Its such a strange experience and I don't know how to really handle it so that I
- don't create the same situation for someone else
- come across as the bitter girl
- comes across as the girl that wants to be pregnant but can't be.