Suckage

So I've really sucked at this whole blogging thing lately haven't I?  Well my apologies to the pygmies.  I would say that life has been busy these days between raising a three year old and growing a baby, but damn it, I know other bloggers who are doing it and taking super cute belly photos in their maxi dresses.

I for one will not be rocking a maxi dress.  Its August in Phoenix where the 120 degrees has been replaced with 70% humidity and 107 degrees and the idea of a maxi dress screams swamp ass and diaper rash.  Lo siento friends for that visual instead. 

My other reason for not claiming that I've been too busy is because we're about to get a whole lot busier.  I was emailing a friend the other day and it all came tumbling out that between the upcoming nuptials of a friend and all that goes along with that and other planned events we have about 5 weeks left to get ready for Tiny's arrival.  You see The Boy was four weeks early.  I had my damn shower a week before he showed up.  Poor planning on my part maybe, but totally unexpected.  Regardless of what my mother thinks. 

So my goal this time is to have everything done before I turn 36 weeks.  This means I've got to get my expanding ass in gear. Oh, and this time I have this stupid ass idea to make the crib bedding.  Because I'm a slave to Pinterest I guess.  Hell, I even made an idea board.  Like this is some fashion line I'm creating.  But Tiny's room, if you go by the idea board, is gonna be awesome.  Now, my iffy execution will be a completely different story.  So we need to paint and sew and put the crib back together.  We need to wash clothes and see what we need this time around.  We need to buy a few items.  We didn't find out until the end of bottles with The Boy that Dr. Brown's bottles worked well for his reflux so we only have two.  We're gonna need a few more.  Lots to do and time is dwindling down.  Have I mentioned the daycare saga?  Oy.  That is its own post within its self.  I think I'll save that little morsel until there is a happy ending.  Right now, not yet.  But fingers crossed!

To add insult to injury, I guess, I am super tired these days.  Tiny is sucking the life out of me.  For example, I swear to all that is holy that I made the bed on Sunday and sorted laundry and fell asleep for and hour and a half.  Its ridic.  We had a window installer at the house a couple of weekends ago replacing the upstairs windows and I fell asleep on the couch.  All white trash with my pregnant belly handing out.  I didn't have the common courtesy to at least snore my head off in the privacy of my own room.  Juantio apologized and explained that pregnancy takes a lot out of me.  How kind. 

So yes, lots to do, little energy to do it and not a lot of time.  For some this is when they shine.  For me this is when I get canker sores from stress.  Oh, and the list making is in full swing.

Here and we're all kicking

So I kinda went a little MIA there for a while didn't I?  Well, its hard to explain.  So I won't. Just suffice it to say that this pregnancy has been leaps and bounds different from The Boy's time in the womb. 

I am very grateful for the small handful of people who i have shared this with and have helped me through these tough times.  Their understanding and compassion has made it easier.  I am also blown away by my husband.  He has sat with me through things that are way beyond either of our skill levels and seen us both through to the other side.   You never think that you will be the living embodiment of your vows, but in these good times and the bad and through sickness and in health, Juanito has been by my side. 

He has really stepped up and taken on more than I ever thought I would be comfortable with.  I hate feeling like I am incapable and he has somehow found a way to take on without making me feel incapable.  He even has started making some dinners.  I will just gloss over the pan of burnt refried beans I found in the sink after I came home and said the house smelled like burnt beans and you tried to say it was the new a/c filter.... 

I love you beyond words Juanito. 



FB Post:  Levi is going to be a ........

Since it hasn't been all rainbows and kittens lately, I will focus on the good stuff.  We announced our pregnancy on Facebook which makes it more official than any test results, countless ultrasounds and board certified doctors.  We got 65 likes.  Because those things matter. 

Of course always the marketing person, I had to take a poll of friends, family, and people I once knew, to see what the general consensus was for gender,  It was like 85% girl.  So we went a few days later for the big ultrasound.  Baby was all stretched out with arms up around the head and ankles crossed, like my uterus is a hammock.  The u/s tech wasn't sure if she would be able to see the gender or not.  Baby eventually moved and before the tech could say any thing I gasped.  She said, "do you see it" and Juanito said, "Is that a turtle?"  That's when we get to post to FB that we're having a ....

Photo taken on our trip to California just in case you
thought there were beaches in Phoenix.

So when Levi was baking we called him Senor.  In fact we called him Senor even after we came home from the hospital with him.  So I said we need to find a nickname for this little one (the actual name has been a struggle!).  We didn't like Junior or anything like that. So while giving The Boy a bath, Juanito asked him what we should call the baby.  The Boy said Tiny, but he said it in a really small squeaky voice and hunched his shoulders up to his ears and pinched his thumb and fore finger together.  He doesn't really understand whats going on yet.  Or what is going to happen to his world in a few months.  He is convinced that he has the baby in HIS stomach.  Boy, is he sadly mistaken.

So here is Tiny.  He wasn't cooperative for the complete ultrasound so we get to go back.  I swear this kid has had so many photos taken of him so far.  He will probably be a camera hog when he comes out too!  Oh he is a movin' and a grovin' and he is measuring 4 days bigger than expected so they moved my due date up.  Fine by me!

Tiny Reynolds



Where have I been and what have I been doing?

So I haven't posted in a while and I have no good excuse.  I mean I've started posts but haven't finished them. So let's try and finish those up and give you an idea of where I've been and what I've been doing. 

Memorial Weekend....

Memorial Weekend is a time to remember those who have bravely served our country and community.  Be it military, army reserves, police, or fire; this weekend is about honoring any person who puts on a uniform and puts their life on the line for others.

What did I do?  Well I Nair'd my cooter's sideburns in preparation of being in a swimsuit in front of people.  I also went to Schnepf's Farms, which was on the edge of the Earth, and picked peaches.  Twenty pounds of peaches later we came home.  Armed with ginormous clam shells of strawberries and blueberries from Costco we proceeded to gorged ourselves on fruit all weekend long.  On Saturday we went to Schmacey's for swimming and a BBQ.  I debuted my new maternity swim suit which I've never had before and thoroughly enjoyed our friends, even if they don't believe that we landed on the moon.  Then on Memorial Day itself we went out to my parent's house for an outstandingly awkward afternoon with my family and all of their idiosyncrasies. Nothing salutes our armed services like fruit and dysfunction!

The Pregnancy

Have I mentioned that this pregnancy is nothing like The Boy?  I might have mentioned it a time or ten.  Because it isn't.  I don't think that I have glowed once.  Well my aunt said I was but I think she was lying to make me feel better. I have pretty much a constant headache that ranges in a variety of intensities.  Sometimes I can't open my eyes and other times the throbbing only happens when I bend over.  I have consulted my doctor about this and first I need to make sure that its not my eyes and/or contacts before they worry.  Apparently the actual eyeball can change shapes and my contacts might be causing problems. We shall see but in the mean time Tylenol has become my new favorite friend.

Oh, and the crying....  the uncontrollable tears!  We were driving back from the edge of the Earth (Schnepft's Farm) and I fell apart crying because my grandpa died.  Nine years ago people. The man died nine years ago and I'm bawling because The Boy won't ride his tractor like I did.   I mean seriously get it together Sara! 

Loss

A very good friend lost his father a few weeks ago to cancer.  I had so many mixed emotions about it.  It seemed that our friends, Yennifer and her husband (it was his dad who passed), had been living their lives in limbo with the ups and downs of battling cancer.  I know that as the child you want the limbo rather than loose one of your parents.  But I know that there has to be some level of relief that there is no more fighting and that he is at peace.  But good Lord I am not prepared for us to start losing our parents.  I mean grandparents is sad to deal with but our parents?  We are not old enough to deal with that type of loss.  But, yet, here we are.  Oh and like I mentioned above, this did not bode well with the uncontrollable crying either.  I'm at the memorial service trying hard not to do one of those gasping inhales while bawling things when my friend was talking about his dad.  I was just a mess and it turned into a headache that lasted for two days. 

So that's where I've been and a little bit of what I've been doing.  Its all very exciting.  The temperatures have crept up here in the Valley an summer has officially started while other areas are barely seeing spring.  I envy your time in the sun "warming up" while we claim shady parking spots and avoid the outdoors for large chunk of time. 

Irrational Fears

They say with your first baby mom is super paranoid of all things.  Don't eat hot dogs. Don't eat lunch meat.  Don't sit for too long.  Don't stand for too long.  Don't breath or drink unless it's been filtered.  Don't look at a snake because your baby will be cross-eyed.  Well I wasn't.  I was so freaking excited to be pregnant that I think I thought I was untouchable.  Immune to the possibilities that something bad would happen after all the time and effort it took to get here. 

They also say that with any subsequent children you worry less and less. Hence why they say the youngest child could swing from the rafters and parents don't worry.  Makes me wonder about about Michelle Duggar..... 

Anyways, that is  not true for me.  With Lucky #2 I am worried about everything.  We had the nuchal translucency test the other week that tests for chromosomal abnormalities,  such as Down's Syndrome.  I was so nervous about this test.  Since becoming a mom I have met a handful of people who have children with Down's that they didn't know about until the baby was born.  HOLY COW.  And even though my blood work and ultrasound are fine I still worry.  And will worry until my little pink, squishy bundle shows up.  

Other things I worry about to the point of anxiety for no good Goddamn reason:

1. Squishing the baby.  I'm afraid that I will sit hunched over at my desk for too long and the baby won't be able to grow because my fatness has taken up all the room my abdomen allows.  Like a gold fish that grows to the size of its container what if my fat rolls inhibit my baby's development and I end up with a baby the size of a doll?  This fear is only fueled by the stories my mother in law tells that my sister in law was so small when she was born she had to make clothes for her out of baby doll dress patterns.  And not to imply that my MIL is fat by any means.  It just goes to show that super small babies are in the chromosomal mix.

2.  Someone breaking in to the house.  Juanito has been out of town off and on recently and I battle the "What If" game.  What if someone broke into the house while I'm in the shower?  Or upstairs with The Boy?  Or in the backyard?  My cell phone is somewhere else and we don't have a land line.  What would I do?  I agonize over each step thinking that formulating a plan will ease the anxiety but its only really just fuels it.  I might have an escape route drafted in my head, but I also have a racing heart rate and sweaty palms.  This has caused me to start looking at getting a land line as well as where to strategically put the phones in case of an intruder. 

3. The baby moving.  This ties into item number 1.  I've started feeling the baby move and when I do it freaks me out because I'm afraid of squishing the baby.  Last night this happened so I stretched out on the couch until I didn't feel it anymore. This curbed the beginnings of an anxiety attack. It occurred to me that in the near future I won't have this luxury because the baby will be bigger and will be felt regardless of what position I am.  So will I just have to have the meltdown?  How will I function if I am always two steps away from a complete meltdown?

4. Wearing too tight of clothes.  I bought the belly band when I was like 8 weeks along because I didn't want to wear tight clothes.  Because of issue number 1.  Also it was uncomfortable.  But really it goes back to being afraid of squishing the baby.  If I could wear yoga pants to work I would. 

5. Getting in an accident.  I worry about getting into a car accident, or even any accident that might land me in the hospital.  I worry about how we will juggle The Boy.  Which hospital will I be at and will it be convenient to our house?  Will The Boy still be able to go to daycare?

I know that ALL of this is ludicrous to worry about but I do.  Dear Lord I do.  I wonder about it when I'm driving to work.  Or taking a shower.  Or trying to fall asleep.  I worry about everything under the sun happening and try and figure a solution of every possible scenario.  Its exhausting. 

Shunting? Is that what this? Where am I?

So I haven't written in a while.  Things have been, well, you, happening.  And by "in a while" I guess I mean like 5 days ago.  Anyways.  I know I should jump on the bandwagon and say something about the tragedy at the Boston Marathon.  Well, I don't have words for it.  I can't understand what makes people do such things.  It also doesn't help that we don't know who did it or why they would do such a thing.  Was it to see if they could? 

The Long Story

So back in January we started the break after finishing our last cycle of Clomid without success.  At the time my doctor wanted me to start taking progesterone in order to maintain the appearance of a cycle.  Essentially I was supposed to take progesterone during the days of my "cycle" when a normal woman's body would produce it on its own.  This would promote a period and would be safe if I got pregnant. 

Its a long story...

So its a long story and if you've been reading here for a while you know that I love to tell a story.  And that they can be pretty long and drawn out and really have no purpose whatsoever.